


Cold

by captain_sassy_socks



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s04e20 Entity, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29263365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_sassy_socks/pseuds/captain_sassy_socks
Summary: Sam struggles in the aftermath of her encounter with the Entity.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 29
Kudos: 38
Collections: Stargate Winter Fic Exchange 2020-21





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dwj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwj/gifts).



> Dear dwj,
> 
> I hope this fic fulfills your request and you accept it. I really, really tried to write a fluffy fic but my fingers hovered over the keyboard and the words wouldn't materialize.  
> If you don't like it, pls let me know, publicly or privately. I'll write something else because your joy is the most important aspect in this Fic Exchange.

The campfire crackled in the front of Sam’s distant eyes as the hungry flames demolished the wooden branches with fervor while the long shadows of the surrounding trees stood guard over the off-world travelers. Hunched on a log, she clutched the mug between her clammy fingers and pulled her knees closer to her body.

A cloud of sparks jumped out, twirled high through the air, and vanished into nothingness. A recurring cycle that always ended in death.

Despite having been cleared fit for duty by Janet after a series of thorough examinations, a part of her remained disconnected, neither here nor there, stuck in the terrible state in between. Like a raft on the vast ocean, she was at the mercy of the currents and drifted nowhere.

Sam drew in a shaky breath and tried to shake off the cold seeping into her bones.

In vain.

Neither the heat from the fire nor the already lukewarm coffee could fend it off. Because every time Sam closed her eyes, she experienced the same.

Darkness.

Coldness.

Emptiness.

One moment Sam had worked on her computer; the next, she had been sucked into the void, severed from the physical plane of existence. Trapped behind an insurmountable barrier, she had searched for a way to fight an enemy she couldn’t grasp and tried to escape from a world that existed solely of electric impulses. She had bounced from one transistor to another, manipulated the electronic circuitry, and hammered against a wall of electromagnetic fields, only to be mocked by silence. With every passing blip, her strength had dwindled, and her consciousness had started to come apart at the edges until, all of a sudden, a jolt of electricity had catapulted back into a network of neural pathways that had appeared familiar.

“We heard,” Colonel O’Neill had told her.

“You’re safe in the infirmary,” Janet had assured her.

“The entity is dead,” they had lied.

Because she wasn’t alone, never alone.

A gentle breeze stroked her cheek, and an imaginary, sugar-sweet voice breathed the innocent, yet cursed words into her ear.

_Beep, beep, beep_

The monotonous sound still taunted her. It was everywhere and nowhere, lived in her head, and beat in sync with her heart. The permanent reminder that she was alive and the unambiguous warning that once it faded, she would too.

At the moment, Sam didn’t know which scenario scared her the most.

A flame burst toward her and beguiled her with its promise of warmth and salvation. Mesmerized, Sam’s arm stretched out until the orange tongue almost licked at her skin. Unflinching, she welcomed the signals her nerve-endings sent toward her brain. When she had been separated from her body, she hadn’t felt anything, no physical sensations, no pain, just...

Words eluded her to explain the experience. Whenever she tried to recall the feeling, a wall shot up around her fragile mind and protected it from herself, from causing more damage.

The intensity of her discomfort increased. Strange, how such a once-harmful act could be so liberating now.

“Carter?”

Her name cutting through the silence of the night startled her, and she jerked her hand away. The mug landed on the ground with a soft thud, and the remaining content splashed against her boots and pants. Reality came crashing down on her.

Mission on P5X-109. Night watch. On duty.

Was it already his turn?

Shame consumed her in the face of her apparent weakness and unreliability. How could she forget such a simple task as waking him? Something she had done a hundred times before. Looking up, Sam mumbled, “I’m so sorry, sir. I mu-”

Jack flicked his hand to stop her apology. “I was up anyway.”

The hidden truth hung between them and wrapped itself around them like a heavy blanket.

_I was up because the demons haunted me._

_I was up because the terror froze me._

_I was up because the nightmares frightened me._

_Just like you._

His look of concern and sympathy pierced her soul but couldn’t break through the thick ice crust that coated her heart. As another shiver ran down her spine, Sam buried her hands in her armpits and rocked her upper body back and forth. “I’m so cold,” she whispered and averted gaze, shielding herself from his scrutiny.

Long, silent seconds ticked away in which Sam wished for him to save her but failed to voice her plea.

“I’ll make some more coffee,” Jack eventually said and crouched down to pick up her drinking cup. The offer to prepare coffee held a deeper meaning for them. On many missions, the dark, bitter liquid helped them to stay awake and alerted, comforted them, and strengthened their bond. At this very moment, the ritual alone chipped away at the suffocating, icy mantle.

Once the metal pot rested near the fire, Jack sat down next to her, close enough that the heat from his body slipped through the cracks and thawed another layer. In the flickering light, the rare softness in his eyes stood in sharp contrast to the hardened lines around them. For a second, the tip of his tongue peeked out, and the muscles in his cheek twitched before two powerful, yet tender words tumbled from his mouth. “Come here.”

Desperate to get away from the numbing cold, she leaned in and melted into his frame. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and splayed her stiff fingers over his heart. The lively pounding forced the tormenting, dull noise inside her head into the background. In his comforting embrace, a pleasant warmth spread through her body and displaced the feeling of uncertainty.

The soothing strokes of Jack’s thumb over the back of her hand invigorated her, and Sam entwined their fingers. Without hesitation, he brought them to his lips and promised, “I’ll always be there for you. Believe me.”

The simple vow broke down the last barrier inside of her, and for the first time since the surreal ordeal, Sam’s body and mind merged and formed one unit. Overwhelmed by the cascade of emotions—relief, hope, love—tears spilled from her eyes, and the agony bled from her heart.

On an alien planet far away from home, the first rays of light heralded a new day and bore witness to two people reclaiming themselves. Together, they would survive another day.


End file.
